>>> MAINFRAME ESCAPE — SUPPORT TERMINAL <<<

> ESTABLISHING CONNECTION...
> SUPPORT STAFF LOCATED: 1
> SUPPORT STAFF AVAILABLE: DEPENDS ON DINNER PLANS
> READY.

> QUERY: THE GAME IS TOO HARD

The game is fair. The simulation is hostile. These are different problems, and only one of them is a bug. Tip: the near-miss bonus rewards courage, but the wall rewards nothing. Choose accordingly.

> QUERY: HOW DO I BRAKE?

This question has been escalated to engineering. Engineering has reviewed the request and responded, in full: "No." There is no brake. There was never a brake. Stop looking for the brake.

> QUERY: A BLUE CAPSULE SLOWED TIME AND THEN SHOT AT ME

Working as intended. Free points are never free. Dodge it — you have all the time in the world, briefly.

> QUERY: I FOUND A GLITCH

Did you see the same thing happen twice? A flicker, a stutter, a phone booth that wasn't there a second ago? That's usually them changing something. But if you're confident it's our code and not theirs, report it to the operator below and it will be patched with alarming enthusiasm.

> QUERY: WHERE IS MY DATA?

Still in your head, where it belongs. The game collects nothing, tracks nothing, and phones home to no one. The only thing stored is your best distance, and it never leaves your device. Frankly, we're the only app on your phone that ISN'T watching you.

> QUERY: I REACHED THE END. THERE WAS A PARTY.

Congratulations. What happens behind the gate stays behind the gate. Your best distance has been recorded. The road has been reset. It missed you.

> CONTACT THE OPERATOR

For anything the terminal can't answer, signal the operator:
ggilbert@emile-e.tech
Response times vary depending on whether the operator is currently playing the game he is supposed to be supporting.

> WARNING: THIS SUPPORT DESK IS ONE GUY. BE NICE TO HIM.

> END OF LINE